Final Decision

I have been juggling to make the right decision for myself.

I am not really happy with my score although I can still apply to a very limited graduate school. To make it worse, one of the university advisor wanted me to re-consider to take GMAT again. FML. And, she mentioned in e-mail about applying for a scholarship.HUH? Are you kidding me?

I cannot grab the meaning attention behind her interest by convincing me to take GMAT again so I can apply for a scholarship. Is this the sign of sort of a positive attitude or indirect way to say, "sweetie, you are not qualified to apply to our university."

*Walauuww

With my current GPA, me granted with a scholarship? That is so far beyond possible. I have a doubt. Considering a scholarship? For me to get accepted is a miracle. I spent freaking 1.5 month to work out on my fugly GMAT. Happy news to all my haters, the result was below my expectation. Yeah, go laugh and smile and shag the hippos.

I discussed my issue with my dad. As it is always, Dad wanted me to retake it and if it doesnt work I shall go back to Indonesia. I told him there are some school willing to accept me. He insisted I shall take it again.

At this point, I just wanted to cry. What I hate the most in my life is to touch GMAT books. Every single day I spent hours on dining table writing questions with a big gulp, hair loss, wight gain, and pimples covering my forehead. Every single night I prayed. This is what I got. What have I done wrong to myself?

I am ashamed of myself. =(

I suffer from GMAT. If soomeone ever mentiones about people suffering from earthquake, please let me punch his or her face and taste the blood because I am so bloody mad. I dont give a damn pennies to listen to all people crap.

I have no interest with pep talks that I have to be grateful because there are some peope out there whose life are much worse than mine. I have enough. Period. You want to talk about earthquake survivor, clean water, poverty, HIV/Aids, children famine, well sorry dude, this is not the place to start the discussion. This is my blog--the best place ever to complaint.

Stop whining* slap my face

I will give another two-month-shot and see how far I can go from there. Only God knows my future. Gear up the lazy brain and stretch it out.

Anywyas, for God's sake, I hate my neighbor and his friends who like to peep my apartment thorough the window. I hate them. What are they looking for? to steal some of my stuff or plan to molest and rape me?? Perverts. I shall call cops but I cant coz I dont have the evidence and they probably will be angry at me for wasting their time. I am hoping these two things (stealing and molesting) wont happen otherwise f**k my life. Thou shalt be brought down to Hell.

One more reason to move out from Oklahoma.

As far as for the action, I covered up the window with my awesome green-red sari sarong. I have no interest to buy a curtain and yes I need to save money so I wont spend for things that I will regret by the end of july.

Alright, two month shot. Whatever the result I will move on and ignore the vixen evil who is laughing celebrating my failure.

To make it clear about my previous entry, I am not obsessed with older males. However, I admire older men or women because of their outstanding performance (eg. promiment senator, famous singer). So, don't get me wrong if I am fascinated with John Edwards or Michale Bolton.